I'm having my picture taken today.

I've been nominated for two awards at work. One for leadership as and individual and one for leadership as part of a team. My boss has acknowledged neither. Additionally, he just called me into his office to discuss the time sheets that I administer, wondering why the sick day that I had one or two weeks ago hadn't been data entered. It's hard to quantify, but he has this very suspicious look that he gets on his face...almost snide...that seems to indicate that he knows you're trying to pull a fast one. I told him that as my supervisor it was his obligation to have another administrator key data entry for me when I report as sick because -



I. Can't. Alter. My. Own. Pay. Record.



Could I have possible said that with more vehemence? It's like really, fuckhead...I never fricking call in sick...and I have more sick days than a person will ever need. I am in a position of respect and a pretty serious company...trusted with peoples lives and all that goes with this company...and you seriously think I'm going to try and beat paying for one fucking sick day.



Right.



So. Now I'm freaking livid and I want to cry because he's such an ass at times...and I get to go and smile for my picture where I'm being honored for leadership and compassion...and the smile will be fake because he doesn't trust me to not try and cheat him out of a sick day.



Ah, lovely...



Within minutes...even as I type this...he has come to me and apologized for being a suspicious ass. :::sigh::: After talking to a very sage coworker who said, "These are his demons, not your demons. When he does it to me, I just feel like I need to pray for him to beat them." I felt a lot better. He's right. The man deserves my love and prayers for his well being. And I get to take away a lesson. When I am angry and say something hurtful to someone, my apology doesn't really make it better. It certainly helps to acknowledge I made a mistake, but preventing that mistake will be such a better (and more challenging) course to take.